Ed, Barack, David and Cheryl

What’s been happening this week on this wild weird and wacky planet we call Earth?

Labour leader Ed Miliband got married to long term partner Justine on Friday at a low key ceremony in Nottinghamshire. It seems that the reason he didn't have a best man was because as hard as he looked in his party he couldn't find one.

Barack Obama and his entourage were ‘in town’. During his state visit to Britain he had talks in Downing Street, became the first American President to address both Houses of Parliament at the Palace of Westminster and hosted a dinner in honour of the Queen. He even found time for table tennis when he teamed up with David Cameron to play against some pupils at a school in South London. Apparently when the PM asked Mister President if he was ready for ping-pong, Barack thought he was referring to the Chinese ambassador.

Cheryl Cole was remarkably sacked this week from US X Factor because producers were concerned that her accent was too strong. Surely they must have known about her Geordie patois before handing her the gig? Cheryl will still receive her full fee of £1.2 million despite only working on the show for just four days. I’d say that her glass of Newcastle brown ale is categorically more than half full. When asked how she felt about being fired Cheryl said  “Why eye man I’m allreet really leek. Don’t worry bowt me pet cos I’m oot on the tawn toneet leek wit lasses for a reet neet oot!”

...And finally as someone who is enthralled by quantum physics I was taken aback to discover that two of the world’s most eminent thinkers have put forward a theory that the whole of the universe is a holographic projection. In other words everything in reality according to these physicists is a hologram. That explains a lot about the cast of The Only Way Is Essex.